June 12th, 21:54
Well, I guess I'm going back.
I was offered a position in Glasgow, at the station there. The pay is good, and it will mean a promotion. I wish that I'd been able to continue to work in my field, but the police work has been interesting enough, and it puts food on the table. I will miss Edinburgh, the dark alleys and the winding streets. Everything seems fashionable here.
Tonight, I walked alone in the dusk along one of the alleyways near the Scott monument. The streets were crowded with tourists, and the evening was lovely for having a glass of wine as sunset faded to darkness. However, I prefer Edinburgh in winter, on a weeknight. The city is quiet, and you can feel the years, piled upon each other like leaves pulled from a book. Edinburgh is beautiful in the evening, when the snow dusts the pavements of the small alleyways, and candlelight flickers from the windowpanes of the pubs along the road.
Unfortunately, everything here is also a reminder. The place where we met on the university grounds...the theatre where I saw his play...the pub where he spilled his drink on me, and then asked me out...the small restaurant where he asked me to marry him. He was handsome, and funny; I liked the way I would catch him looking at me, and he brought me roses.
Then the world turned upside down.
Adam and I split up a few months back, and the divorce was finalised today. He's living with the new girl now. It's funny how you think you know someone, and then you realise they've been a stranger all along. It's odd...the Glasgow offer came through on the same day as the divorce finalised. Seems like it was just in time.
Tonight, I stood in front of the restaurant where he asked me to marry him. I looked inside, at the couples laughing, and the small fireplace aglow even in the middle of summer – this is Scotland, after all. As the crowds passed me, and the people inside were wrapped in their own love and conversation, I took off his ring for the first time, and I placed it on the windowsill. I faded into the crowd, and out of the life of this ancient city.
I will miss Edinburgh, its artistic heart, its Victorian charm that reminds me of Jekyll and Hyde, and the university where I learned about folklore – the stories of countless generations.
I still miss him...and his eyes, and his smile.
I need to get out of this city.